She Yelled a Lot

One day in spring 1972, before divorce was as openly discussed as it is today, I was aiming for an open discussion. Tony, a sad little boy who would make up fictitious stories about his absentee father, needed to hear there were other single-parent homes like his.

All the kids sat in a circle for story time. I read them Jack and the Beanstalk. That did it.

“Why in so many folktales do children just live with their mothers?” I asked, and off we went as every kid living in an atypical family raised a hand for a chance to speak.

The first was a boy, Martin, who rarely saw his divorced father (he lived out of state). I asked Martin if he missed his father and he quickly answered, “No, he scares me and I’m afraid of him.”

Tony glamorized his dad, who deserted the family, and I was glad he heard this reality that not all dads are playful and loving, as in his imaginary stories.

One by one, each kid with a single-parent home volunteered some honest comments.

The last to raise her hand was Angela, whose mother had recently remarried, and everyone in class was aware of the new marriage. “Before my mother married Ben, she was married to Jack. That’s my dad. She used to yell a lot—” and with that statement, Angela went into some long, silent, deep thinking.

The whole class waited quietly, patiently, sensing a profound new thought was coming. And it was a gem!

Carefully, slowly, with a scowl that revealed the depth of her concentration, out came, “She still yells a lot.”

And the whole class, every single child including Angela, burst out laughing at her realization that the new marriage didn’t fix up that problem! Every kid could relate to yelling moms!